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La Vie en Rose

So once again, i'm speaking about the thing I know more than anything else, myself.

Something that really is important to me is truth. Not only about being who you are but to what you want to do and be. There's nothing I hate more than seeing people changing themselves to fit in with others. Everyone is their own person, they should stay that way. For me though, I did the same thing. I used to be a different girl, and when I met a new friend, I not only changed my style but my attitude about people and life. I found that the new way I was was exhilarating and important. I had a better view of life. So changing was a good thing for me and it helped me realize and find the people that really loved me in my life.

What I think is important about life is community. Without a surrounding safe place to return to when life gets scary is special. What would it be like if we were always alone? For awhile, I thought that I had found my place. But it wasn't a little while later that I found out it wasn't the right one. But once I found my calling in France, it wasn't too long until I found my "happy place", for lack of better words.

Now, in life there always has to be fun. What kind of life is it if you're always just doing nothing! I love doing adrenaline rushing things like going to music shows and death-defying stunts! Actually, i'm kidding. I haven't done anything too crazy lately, but I still want to go skydiving really bad!

With all the little things I like to do, I love shopping and music and the internet and art and mainly photography. I've always wanted to have my own little business on the side just to be able to earn money for fun. It's a beautiful art of making everything appealing.  And also, I love traveling. My dream is just go everywhere and see everything before I go. That would make a nice life for me.

Where Does One Find the "Home, Sweet Home"?

Did you grow up in the same town your whole life and have had the same friends since Kindergarten? What if you didn’t? Maybe you were like me and have never felt that feeling of having that one solid resting place where in your dreams you imagine that after being away for a long while, returning there sounds like Heaven.

But also, what if you were always in a different place and that was your life? Would you feel complete if you were always on the move? For me, that was normal. And it will always be that way. I don’t know what the feeling is like to have grown up in the same town. And now in my present life, it feels bizarre to see people I may not have seen for the past few years. I’m not used to seeing people again.

In fact, I do have one memory of the feeling of home. It was the first town I lived in when I was a kid. I see it sometimes in my dreams and sometimes I imagine what it looks like nowadays. But what is it really that I feel? I guess it could be something like a mixture of admiration and safety. I was only a young girl when I lived there, so all I remember are the memories of playing in the backyard in the tree-fort or of picking rhubarb leaves and using them as umbrellas. Every holiday, every birthday party, even the moments of disputes between siblings that ended in tears and apologies, that was my childhood that I hope to never forget.

But even in a broader sense, what if you were in a place not even on the same continent away from family, friends and your whole way of life? I can relate. For the past year, I lived in France. And what a complete change of living it is over there. Being away from home for awhile is hard enough, but when you add other elements into the stew like: a new language you can’t speak; not knowing a single person you live with; and even looking like the outcast everywhere you go, it gets a little tougher.

Thinking back now to the first day in my new environment, I was too excited and intrigued by my new life to even worry about the difficulty of the trip. But once the shock wore off, I was lost. Crying didn’t seem to help anything, all I wanted was someone to confide in. I thought to myself “why did I choose this? If home is where the heart is, this isn’t home.” But wait, wasn’t this what my whole life has always been like? I knew how to do something like this. So, I worked at it. I learned and I messed up and it was hard. But what if I gave up and never tried to do something different from everyone else and just stayed in the same place that I feel comfortable and safe in? What if I actually didn’t think it was accomplishable and followed the same path and direction that every high school graduate would do? And now today, I’m so happy and thankful I didn’t.

If I had given up in one of my weakest moments on that journey, I would’ve probably given up my whole future in one huge gift-wrapped box. Taking a look at my life now, it is completely changed because of my decision to go out in the world and do something with my life. I chose to make a new home and place my heart there and called it personally my “home, sweet home”. I found my resting place and I always will wonder that if I would have given up and not taken the time to wait out the storm, would I still not have that feeling of finally finding my “home”? To make it easy to understand, it’s like saying I found my soul mate that for the rest of my life I will remember the first, the best, the toughest and the greatest moments of the relationship that either made me cry or smile. I found that place that was perfect for me.

I never thought world-travel would be my love and addiction. I would feel incomplete without seeing all those wonders of the world by the end of my life. But what about all those people who still can’t get out of their same hometown? Think about all the things they’re missing because of the fear of being away from that security. What if I could get people to look above the fences that surround the circumference of their property – the property they work so hard to maintain - and have them look at the big picture. We live in a great big world full of people and cultures. It’s not just the Americans and then the rest of the world. To be in a different country where you can look back at your home and see it in different eyes is like seeing the back of your own head. Not only does that open your eyes, but also your mind. Finally seeing the other side of life that you were never able to see before.

But what does it take to finally see that? You won’t ever be able to see the whole big scheme of things when you worry about the small details. I used to be exactly like that, and I had lots of friends that were the same way and we loved each other. But when I chose to live a more openly lifestyle, I lost a lot of relationships. But think about it, the world needs to have more productive people that can help the development than tear it down.

Imagine a world where the people don’t just live in their own little bubble, but see the world as one big bubble where everyone is the same. We shouldn’t hold ourselves back and keep ourselves hidden away in our comfort zone where we know we are safe in our habitual ways. We need to go out, see what there is offered for us and take our chances with life and find out where it will take us. So forget where you came from and look to where you are going.

Those 4 little things about Ellie

Hey there,

This week, my prof told us (as in the class) that we need to write a new draft about ourselves again. But this time, i'm going to surprise you all a little.

No, I will not be retelling my stories of when I was once ran over by a car by accident or when I almost got arrested while in foreign country. But I will be revealing the most interesting part about my life: the things that make me, me.

This here, is not only one of my most favorite pictures ever, but it was also taken by myself. To me, it represents a feeling of accomplishment. The idea of shoes and where they can take you really hits me to the core of my being. The thought that I wore those exact shoes every step of the way to get me where I want to be in life. Where would any of us be without our shoes? They are the very first thing we need to do to get up and go in life. We can't go anywhere barefoot!

Where would be in life if we didn't have community? Alone, lost, and definitely confused. Without people surrounding you who love you and care for you, it's no better than living in a square box. In life, we must push ourselves to become a part of a whole. Whether you want to be in the group of the Hindus, or in the group of the Hippies, you will find that certain place where you belong. Me, I found that in France.

Now, I know what you all are thinking about this. Actually, I really don't. But to clear up all confusion, this is definitely not me. But, I will have you know, that this is one of my favorite things to do. I love going to shows and enjoying a little bit of ruff-housing. Everyone needs to have some sort of poison in them, I prefer this one.

Now, this part is my favorite. It's my self-adoring part. I love photography and the art of seeing life through a lens. It has to be my favorite way to spend time. It's almost like I can just hide away from the world and look at it through my own eyes and see it the way I want to. And in every little thing in the world that seems unimportant, if you look just right, you will find the special secret about it that makes it beautiful.

The beginning of it all.

Hi,

You may be wondering by now who I am and why on Earth I have this blog. If not, then you can just click that bright red X in the corner and be on your way. If you are interested enough to stay and listen, get comfy and let me begin.

My name’s Ellie. Short for Eleanore. No, I was not named after the president’s wife. But my middle name, Cajsa, was taken from a very special Swedish woman. I was born in 1993 to both my parents, Stan and Donna. Even though they are now divorced, they still are my parents. I have five siblings, yes, five. Fortunately, I wasn’t the one that always got picked on. I’m the third and I hold the ranking of the bully sister in the family. Yes, I am proud of that title. I do my job well.

I was born way way way up north in Fargo, North Dakota. Where plants are still frozen in May. I spent my childhood there and it was my home for a while. But tragedy strikes to all those who don’t expect it. We have to leave for my dad’s job. Twice. Which finally brought us to the great old town of Valparaiso, Indiana. It’s home now, at least.

I am grown up now, the childhood years are over. And I am now in college at Purdue North Central. It’s a charming little school where the only thing to do is go to class.

Okay, enough with school. The good stuff.

I went to France last year for Rotary Youth Exchange, best year of my life. I lived in Lyon and had the greatest 10 month vacation ever! And yes, I speak French now. C’est bien, non? I miss it so much, the cheese, the wine,  the beer, the music, l’amour! It was beautiful.

Somethings that interest me: tattoos, piercings, photography and music. Love it all.  Also, watching a wee bit of television. Gotta have my ghost hunters thrown in here a little.

Other than spending my time working at Quizno’s (which I love just so much), I love to shop. Really, I do. Finding that vintage store with all those treasures from lost and found, MM yes, I crave it. If you ever wanna take me out for a little shindig, find a vintage store and I’m down.

Or, on certain days, you may see me parading around in some of my mom’s old furs. Yes, I adore those too. I can’t ignore my classy side. I love my French fashion sense too. Chanel, Longchamps, Hermes, Louis V, Gucci. Yummy. Can’t get enough.

Well, that sums it up, I guess. Welcome to the world of Ellie. If you want more, stay tuned. But if not, I don’t really care.

Bye.